Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
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Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
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They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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