i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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