I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
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90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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