Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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