every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize