We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize