I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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