I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
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Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
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I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize