you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
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He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
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If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize