No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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