We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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