I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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