My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
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don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
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If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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