I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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