He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
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theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
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It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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