I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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