Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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