I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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