I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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