Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
how can u be prego again
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
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My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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