I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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