I need to stop coming to work sober
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
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I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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