When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize