Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize