Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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