Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize