rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
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When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
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He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
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