turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize