yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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