she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize