He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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