Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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