My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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