Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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