Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
kristin has been a bad kristin
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize