I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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