In the future we'll all be gay
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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