my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize