Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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