My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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