we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
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im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
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While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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