If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize