well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize