Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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