I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
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I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
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I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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