why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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