Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
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