ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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