Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize