I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would photoshop your dick
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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